Rambly Monday Post

Do you ever have those days where everything is on the edge of being miserable but somehow you survive the whole day with out a break down. Only to get home and the littlest thing just messes you up. Yep, today was that kinda day. I started working a full time shift. Which actually means getting up early like a crazy person. I'm ok with mornings, I just rather be in my bed in the morning then in front of a computer. Today wasn't that bad only to end on a frustrating note and I'm anticipating tomorrow to already start behind. Which is going to make it hard to get out of bed knowing that you've gotta pick up slack of others and can't do shit about it. Is that what it means to be a grown up?

Now I'm going to listen to my moody music mix, go to bed oober early and probably sob a little bit. Its days like these that the loneliness sets in. I can't help thinking that if I had someone to complain too then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I could be wrong though. There's this weird feeling growing inside of me saying you need adventure. My anxiety and fear have been suppressing this feeling, but now I'm thinking I need to run away somewhere. Try to be something different and get out from in front of my computer! The dreamer part of me wants to find a cute boy and wander the world, but the realistic side of me says get your ass out of bed and off to work. I suppose I'm still wandering lost and confused. Does this ever go away? Hopefully I find my place soon.

Enough jibber jabber! Tomorrow is another day and another battle!

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