December Art Journal!

Oh man I'm really loving my bookshelf of all my art journals. All different styles and stages of my life. I'm excited for a new year of new journals! I hope I can keep on documenting my life in a beautiful way! I can't wait until its been like 10 years and I can go back remember all the things I forgot happened! 

2017 Recap: The Year of Being Brave

I wanted to write a post and re-cap all the cool stuff I've gotten to do this year! I really enjoy new years resolutions (which is why I started this blog in the first place, 4 years ago eep!) but coming into 2017 I just wasn't fully set on what it was I wanted to accomplish. I was mostly just trying to focus on surviving 2017 and protect my heart from all the turmoil the world was going though. So I decided to skip writing a post about it and a little bit into February it finally hit me what my resolution should be! Yes, a little late in the year I know!
My goal for 2017 was to BE BRAVE! Now usually non specific goals just don't work. Luckily I found myself using this idea as a motivator and mantra. It became my empowerment and strength to do scary things! It translated into big things (you'll read about soon!) and small things like speaking up about my political views, asking for help at the store and making a phone call. Which seem like fairly simple things, but for a social anxiety ridden introvert they were HUGE. I kept thinking 2017 was going to be encased in political shit, sexual harassment stories and the rise of racism and bigotry. (Which there was don't get me wrong) With in all that crap I found a new strength and identity as a badass strong female all thanks to my goal of being brave!

Here's a list of all the HUGE ways I was able to be brave in 2017!

ONE- Doctors. I started off the year by going to the doctors and getting some much needed anxiety medication. Mental health is really tricky to talk about sometimes and can be incredibly personal. BUT if you feel like you need it, get it! That was one of the smartest things I could have ever told myself!

TWO-  Oophorectomy. On that glorious doctor visit (the first in many, many years) my doctor found a giant cyst on my pelvic muscle. (ok so I knew it was there, but I didn't think it was anything bad!) I got it removed along with my right ovary. I had my first stay ever in a hospital! Talk about scary. I've always hated hospital and had a mini break down when they said I'd have to stay over night. Everything turned out well! Now i've this super badass scar on my belly!
(PS my one last brave thing is showing you my scar featuring a bit of muffin top! haha)

THREE- Zine Fest! I tabled at TWO different festivals last year! Even saying it now I think back and it feels very surreal. Both of them were scarier then all the doctors visits. Watching a stranger read you're personal thoughts and critique the art that you made (and kinda love) is so scary! I get butterflies and think of 10 ways my zine could be better. Its really empowering though to share some art and something personal, as scary as it might be! I was really happy I was brave enough to show up!
FOUR- Interview. I don't talk about my job much on here because I don't find it all too interesting and if I start ranting about it I might not ever stop! A strange thing about my job is that I've had it for a billion years (well it feels like that at least) I've had it for so long that I've never had to interview for a job. I got it when I was 15 and its just stuck. I decided to apply for some other jobs and I had my first interview. Which I completely bombed! Half way though I kept thinking theres no way these people will hire me, I'm giving all the wrong answers! BUT I loved the opportunity even if I ruined it! As you all know the process is very nerve wracking! Having survived the awful interview just gives me the courage to keep going after other opportunities even if I fail. I know now that its not the worst thing in the world and I can survive it!

FIVE- Bees! Oh man. I love bees (if you didn't know) I got the chance to see my neighbors hives up close! Its crazy how everything in your brain is saying "run run beeeess!" but you're almost in a trance by how beautiful they are! The most surprising thing was how loud they are. It was the coolest experience I think I've had so far in my life. I'm sure it'll be awhile before I get brave enough to mess with bees again. Its amazingly beautiful, but still scary.
SIX- Tattoo. I knew I wanted to end the year with something amazing. I wanted to take a trip but realized I was brave, but not brave enough to travel alone! (hopefully some day!) So instead I got a tattoo! You can read about it HERE. This was the perfect way to end the year. Connecting with really beautiful people and having artwork that will forever remind me of my brave year of zines, doctors, bees and tattoos!
This has been a very growing year for me. I'm so happy I have all of you along the way to share my stories too! I hope 2018 is a good one!