List of Goals!

I didn't want to set any resolutions for the year. So instead I just jotted down a few things to give me some direction for the new year, with out putting any pressure on myself. Is this a silly way to avoid setting resolutions, while actually setting them? Yes, possibly. In a strange way this just f e e l s better to me. Overall I want to get lost in myself this year. When I say that out loud it seems really selfish. I suppose what I mean is I want to indulge parts of myself that I arbitrarily deemed negative qualities. Things like not being social, getting lost in books and obsessing over art projects. I want to learn how to be more of myself and enjoy myself more. Again, its a bit silly but in the best way possible.
As I stumble my way though the list I'll be sure to update the blog (which is on the list! ha!)

Song and Doodle #74

Todays song and doodle is the song I've had on repeat for a few days now, To The Boys by Molly Burch. Now if you haven't heard of Molly Burch before you're in for a real treat. She has the most unique and stylish voice! At first listen it seems a little bit silly but as you track though any of her albums you realize that she has amazing range and is super talented in the way she uses her voice! This song is a favorite of mine because I feel like she singing about me (ok I knooow shes not but still). For me this song is about being a quite person. I think people mistaken meekness for weakness, but quite people are some of the best thinkers and can be badass! Beyond that I think this song is also about not changing for anyone. It about finding your style and being proud of that and not willing to change for anyone. Ok, ok so maybe I read too much into lyrics but thats why they resonate so much with me. Really good songs have a way of oozing into my ears down into my chest coating my heart and I long for that feeling that good tunes give me!
"I don't need to scream to get my point across
I don't need to yell to know that I'm the boss
That is my choice, and this is my voice
You can tell that to the boys"

2018!

My favorite part of the end of the year is seeing every ones goals and reflecting on my own. This past year has been a particularly slow blogging year for me. I put less and less pressure on myself to blog consistently and it definitely showed this past year. In 2017 I ditched resolutions and choose a theme for the year instead. (You can read about it here!) My plan was to do the same for 2018 but a theme never emerged. I waited though the winter and I still felt scattered and lost. The summer came and more of the same. Don't get me wrong I had some great opportunities arise and did some awesome things! But in between those things I was a drift and lacked any purpose. Needless to say I'm looking forward to some new-newness! I'm ready to push 2018 behind me. I hope to buckle down and focus on being more creative, being more kind to myself and lifting myself out of this fog.

To avoid making this post too terribly depressing here are my highlights of the year and all the good that I was lucky enough to experience!
1-Grid Zine! My favorite zine event of the year!
2- I also had an amazing opportunity to be interviewed about my zine! Scary wonderful stuff!
3- Had an amazing birthday with the most wonderful people in my life.
4- For the first time ever I got involved in politics! I volunteered for a political campaign and met a ton of wonderful people, learned a lot of sad things and am forever changed!
5-Took a weekend trip down to southern Utah with the campaign and learned tons about indigenous people! It was such a mind blowing experience I still am having a hard time finding the right words to describe all the feelings.

Overall not too eventful. It was filled with lots of good and lots of self doubt. But life is good. On to a new year!

Happy Solstice/ Cold Moon!

Its the winter solstice and full moon! This is my favorite time of winter. Mostly because its a very nice pause from all the hectic holiday-ness. I love how grounded the solstice makes me feel. Its a nice fresh breath and a new beginning. The returning of the sun feels like turning the first page a crisp new book. This holiday season has been especially hard on my anxiety. It is so frustrating when I have lots I need to get done and lots of loved ones to see but am constantly feeling paralyzed by my crippling anxiety. But for now in this moment I feel the uplifting power of sister solstice and the loving glow of the cold moon and I know I have the strength to get though this. 

I hope you are all staying warm, thanking the earth for this new chapter and holding on to your loved ones! Happy Winter Solstice! 

Thanksgiving Rant!

I always plan on writing this post BEFORE Thanksgiving but time gets a way from me. Multiple years in a row you'd think I'd learn by now! BUT I'm taking a break from my online shopping (gotta get those deals!) to share some thoughts about Thanksgiving. I have so many mixed feelings about this holiday. The older I'm getting the more I reject what it stands for. I use to feel like it was a moment to come together and feel grateful for all life has given us. The more I'm learning the more I realize its a way for people to excuse the atrocities of our colonizing ancestors. I read a post the other day that said "The only ethical way to celebrate Thanksgiving is to spend it educating yourself about Indigenous rights" There is SO much truth in that. The only way to redeem ourselves from the actions on our ancestors is to educate ourselves and do better. The way we treat Indigenous people even today is awful. I was so ignorant to the horrific, systemic oppression we are putting on Indigenous people all across the US. I realize that I need to do more and that I need to educate myself more. I have a responsibility to spend my privilege correctly. One great resource that I've recently found is the instagram account @girlpowersupply She is having Indigenous people take over her account all this week. Hearing from so many people doing great things and educating people has been amazing. The statistics are scary. These are our brothers and sisters and fellow Americans, we need to do better.

With that said this holiday has a dash a bitterness that seeps into my heart. Of course I am thankful for my amazing family and getting to share a very special meal with them. I am thankful for people out there doing good work to better the rights of Indigenous peoples. I hope if you're celebrating this weekend you take the time to check your privilege and educate yourself. Hug your babies and family a little bit more this holiday season, but don't forget about the oppressed and disenfranchised.

October Art Journal!

Octobers art journal! I'm about half a month behind on my art journaling. I'm hoping that I can catch up by the end of the year. I haven't been doing very many spreads but instead taking the time to layer on each page. I've been using these art journals to practice all my layering so I can hopefully make some cool zines. I'm not sure why I think I'll have extra time with the holidays coming up, but one can dream right?

Last Week of Inktober!

Time has gotten away from me AGAIN! This fall is just falling away one cold morning after another. I have troubles lately wrapping my head around how time moves. I can't seem to get a handle on it.  Anyways I wanted to share the last little bit of my Inktober journey! I'm really proud that I could stick with this for the whole month. These are the best drawings I've ever done but they are some of my favorite.
 Day 25- Prickly
 Day 26- Toad
 Day 27- Thunder
Day 28- Raven & Gift
 Day 29- Double
 Day 30- Bride
Day 31- Slice & Frankenstein

More Inktober!

I haven't been posting on here very much BUT I am very happy to report that I have been keeping up with my Inktober posts! You can see the first chunkit HERE! Its already the 24th and I haven't missed a day! This is the first time I have ever stayed on schedule with a challenge! Life has been crazy, but I'm quite happy with all these lil' doodles! 
Day 8- Star
Day 9- Baby Spider (or) Spider Babies!
Day 10- Creature of the Lagoon
Day 110- Bat
Day 12- Whale
Day 13- Grave
Day 14- Skeleton
Day 15- Owl
Day 16- Goblin
Day 17- Werewolf
Day 18- Rat
Day 19- Scorched 
Day 20- Serpent
Day 21- Alien
Day 22- Pumpkin
Day 23- Monster and Muddy!
Day 24- Chop!